I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize