Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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