No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
