oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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