like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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