dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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