Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize