Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize