piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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