we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
