Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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