My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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