i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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