i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
