a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My life is pants optional.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
