I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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