He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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