Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
