Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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