this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
