Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
