his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
