Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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