Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
