The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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