I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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