Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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