That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
