what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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