"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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