I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize