Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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