Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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