I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
