hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
