you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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