I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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