he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
