and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize