He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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