I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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