I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
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Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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