Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
