so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
