So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
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wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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