Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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