wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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