Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
