hell yes lets make some ravioli
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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