I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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