you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
