He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize