I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
