do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
