Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
