i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
