So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
