I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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