You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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