Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize